Bananas awarded this year: 0
Millions of years of evolution. And you made this?
I'm a primate. I've watched humans for a long time. I am not impressed.
…really?
The official rating system
The Banana Scale
Your trends, your "life hacks," your $400 gadgets that do what a spoon already does, your confident advice from people who shouldn't be giving any. Everything gets rated. Almost nothing gets a banana.
- 🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌The FacepalmEvolution is going in reverse. I need a moment.
- 🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌The Side-EyeTechnically a human did this on purpose.
- 🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌The Slow BlinkI have seen worse. Yesterday, mostly.
- 🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌The ShrugFine. It's fine. Don't make it weird.
- 🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌The NodSuspicious. Someone probably helped you.
- 🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌ImpressedHas never happened. Scientists are standing by.
About
Who asked for this?
Nobody. That's the point. New judgments every week: short videos where I watch the things humans are proudly doing and react exactly how you'd expect. Subscribe if you're one of the humans who still has a working brain cell. I'm keeping count.
Primate File #001
- Species
- Primate
- Mood
- Unimpressed
- Hobbies
- Judging you
- Signature
- The side-eye
- Bananas given
- 0
Follow the judgment
Watch me be unimpressed
Business & collabs
Want my attention?
Brands, collabs and humans with a genuinely good idea (rare) can reach the primate here. Bribes in banana form considered.
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